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Do you ever get a rush of motivation one second and you’re like: “FUCK YEAH! I’m gonna rule the world, destroy everything in my way, and cross off all of the items on my bucket list,” but an hour later you lose all of that motivation as you lay there with a cold IPA and cheese puffs watching Grease the musical? Because that’s basically my life. 

I just have a lot of feelings.

Dude, isn’t it crazy how the generation Y started feeling the generation gap since we were in middle school? We’re dissed by the baby boomers, and don’t quite understand gen Z since they don’t seem to grasp the beauty of the 90s. We’re realists, because generation X enjoyed the benefits of the economic expansion, and handed us the GDP with trillions of dollars in loans, deficit, and constant economic downturn. Your parents were able to move out by the age of 18-20 and BUY their own property, but now you’re lucky if you can finish college and get a degree with a 4 digit loan. We want instant gratification, because everything is hurried, and we’re forced to live our 30s in our 20s, and 40s in our 30s. It’s rather nerve-racking when you think about how your youth is being stripped away from you. We’re also constantly labeled “lazy,” “generation self-obsessed,” “freeloaders,” etc… When in reality all we’ve ever known to do was compete in the socioeconomic race and pay for your fucking benefits since you all decided to retire at the same fucking time as the economy had just began to recover and the market was still somewhat volatile. We’re criticized for participating in the “hookup culture,” but nobody seems to understand that romanticism, optimism, and all that sappy shit was never a part of our generation’s design. Like I mentioned, we had to be realists to survive, but of course there are always outliers. It’s easier to put your emotions aside when society looks down on them. We’re raised in a world that’s simply a shit show. Baby boomers are the political leaders, executives, decision-makers, and they try to control our every move. Not just that, but they also constantly dictate our future. No fucker, I don’t care that you were raised in a non-tech savvy world and that you went out to socialize with people. It’s your problem you can’t close the generation gap and that you’re technologically illiterate. I don’t care that you don’t support LGBTQIA, PoC and Feminist movements because you were raised thinking the rich, old white man rules the world. I don’t care that you think I’m lazy, self-indulging, and an emotion-less fucking machine, because calling me those things makes you nothing short of a hypocrite. In conclusion, I have nothing against the the generations preceding or succeeding ours, but I’m tired of all of the worthless criticisms we have to endure day in and day out. You’ve already killed our spirit, trust me, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!

It’s funny when people from England wish you a happy 4th of July. Like, helllllooooooo you know what this day signifies right? YOU KNOW YOUR HISTORY RIGHT?! woot?

I’m utterly disgusted by feminist “allies” that are fishing for sympathy and ally cookies for supporting a movement that we shouldn’t have the need to promote in the first place. You want me to equate your struggles and experiences with sexism and gender inequality with mine? Come back to me when you feel afraid to park your car two blocks away, because when you try to go back it will be dark and quiet enough that there is a good possibility you might get kidnapped, raped, and/or murdered. Come back to me when you’re forced to carry a pocket knife, pepper spray, and a rape whistle whilst walking down the street to get home. Come back to me when what you wear dictates your social worth and is deemed sufficient enough to replace verbal consent. Come back to me when your male coworkers offer to walk you to the bus stop, because it’s “a bad part of the town.” Just because your mother, sister, significant other or a woman you once encountered has somehow influenced your views on gender equality, does not mean you’re the primary victim, nor does it entitle you or deserving of praise for supporting basic human rights. 

Ok, cool. Now go shove an ally cookie up your butt. 


what if you tried to call off of work and you are just like “im sick today” and your boss was like “i know dude you’re one of the sickest bros here” and you were like “no i mean it im ill” and your boss says “yeah you the illest” 

That’s literally what happens in investment banking firms. Bye. 








ok y’all 

how do i ask a boy out 

roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two


twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car


row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream

*taking notes*

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I want to do you



The Fault In Our Sombreros.

Nacho average love story.

it’s spelled olé not olay you illiterate fuck this ain’t the fault in our lotions

Me, myself, and I.

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